everything is terrible!: Archive

“(850): u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the...”

– Texts From Last Night

Jan 28th

2 tags

Jan 13th

“(864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac...”

– texts from last night

Jan 11th

Dec 30th

“(803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting”

– texts from last night

Dec 28th

“If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds...”

– Additional Chuck Norris Facts

Dec 22nd

“(410): She has an album entitled “my photography”, which consists of...”

– texts from last night

Dec 20th

Watch

lookatthisfuckinghipster: “I AM UNSTOPPABLE WITH MY HAMMER SUPER SOAKERS AND MY BLADE FACE PAINT!” this is so incredible. the swiffer handle cum fishing spear is icing on the cake.

Dec 16th

69 notes

2 tags

Watch

this is exactly what I hear when Jason Mraz comes on the radio.

Dec 12th

Dec 11th

1 tag

Dec 11th

Dec 8th

“(949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give...”

– texts from last night seriously, how ugly did she have to be? I’m not sure I even want to know.

Dec 7th

Dec 4th

Dec 3rd

Watch

Man vs Toddler - CollegeHumor video

Dec 2nd

Nov 30th

1 tag

Nov 30th

“(708): just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub,...”

– texts from last night

Nov 29th

Nov 26th

“Homeless man: (singing) new york city can kiss my ass, new york city can kiss my...”

– Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City

Nov 26th

“(530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and...”

– texts from last night

Nov 25th

Old People’s Conversation Is Like Freeform Jazz Older woman on park bench: How is Barry? Older man on park bench: Barry Manilow? Don’t know ‘em. Woman: You know Truman Capote’s son? He liked pumpkin soup. —Union Square Park via Overheard in New York, Nov 22, 2009

Nov 24th

Nov 21st

17 notes

METEOR PILS & CHIMAY | Two Beer Queers: Hawaiian... →

This was seriously too much fun to watch. Plus, their rating system is Mean - She Go! - Fucking Shitty

Nov 19th

“Girl to man: You think I’m a virgin? Take a look at these titties and then...”

– Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Rest

Nov 18th

Nov 17th

Nov 13th

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/020884.h...

Lady to cashier: Can you front me a slice 'til I get my check? 
Cashier: Sorry, no.
Lady: C'mon, man. I come here all the time. 
Cashier: Yeah, so? 
Lady: Man, you suck. You don't know what it's like. I have to buy Pampers and food and crack.

Nov 11th

Nov 10th

2,589 notes

2 tags

Nov 10th

3 tags

Nov 9th

hilarity ensues.

Unemployed Virgin: Bitch. You are skinny. Eat more whataburger so I feel better.
Prospectless Overweight Misanthrope: Like hell!  As long as the Running On The Beach clip still exists, I WILL NOT BE SKINNY.
UV: OMG I forgot about that video. Shit. Now I'm laughing my ass off.
POM: ha ha.
UV: Wtf is wrong with your face??

Nov 8th

Nov 4th

1 tag

Nov 1st

“(407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an...”

– texts from last night

Oct 31st

1 tag

how true.

nowihaveablog: I constantly find my self yelling, “what in the hell are you doing? whatever it is, stop doing it. Fuck!! What are you doing?!?!?” at my dog. I never know what the fuck he’s doing.

Oct 30th

2 tags

Oct 28th

1,245 notes

2 tags

Watch

want to know what Beth and I did while she visited me on vacation? watch this video.

Oct 27th

1 tag

Oct 27th

1 tag

Watch

If I chest bumped every 30 minutes I would probably eliminate the need to eat, drink or SLEEP. THAT is how much POWER is PACKED into EACH CHEST BUMP. Don’t believe me? Try it out! You’ll be ready to TEAR SOME SHIT UP AFTERWARDS.

Oct 26th

2 tags